Lucinda and Scott
As the youngest of three, Scott loved to rile up his siblings. He would sing along with the car radio, using a falsetto voice that especially drove his brother crazy. We made a rule that you could only sing if it was your turn in the front seat. We dubbed it 'the singing seat.' To this day, I look over at the passenger side and laugh at the memory of Scott's blond head tipped back with a grin on his face, and his loud, piercing sounds wafting over us all.
Megan and Peter
Peter was that person we all wanted to be around. He was full of life and energy and always up for an adventure. The moment the sun appeared Peter was up and ready for the day - it was as if he knew his life would be short so he had to take advantage of every waking hour.
One sunny Saturday morning, I noticed something peculiar on the roof. To my surprise, Peter, perched on the highest point of the house, held a dollar store kite in his hand. I called out to him and asked what he was up to. Peter looked down at me wiht a mischievous grin on his face. 'Hey! I'm going to hang glide down from here,' he replied enthusiastically, his eyes sparkling with excitement. I couldn't help but chuckle at his audacious plan. 'Hang glide? Are you serious, Peter? That's quite a daring feat!' Peter nodded enthusiastically. 'Absolutely!'
Concerned for his safety, I decided to have a conversation with Peter rather than dismiss his idea outright. I began to explain the complexities and physics involved in hang gliding, emphasizing the importnace of proper training and equipment. He then looked at me with determination in his eyes and said, 'I understand, but I'm not giving up on my dream.' In the end, the promise of buffalo wings for lunch convinced him to climb down.
Linda and Adam
Adam was born with sparkling eyes - the color of blueberries. Those eyes were always cast up - beckoning us to LOOK UP. On vacations he would remind us - "there's so much you'll miss if you don't Look UP". Who knew that would be our last conversation while he was in rehab. He said, "Always look up even when you're feeling down". He died the next day from an overdose. And now those words...that simple yet profound lesson has become a healing expression of eternal love. I am LOOKING UP for Adam, my beautiful boy with the blueberry eyes. Who are you LOOKING UP for?
Marie, Stacey, and Morgan
Morgan was always a thoughtful and caring child. There was never a stray animal that crossed her path that she didn't attempt to feed or give shelter to. Throughout school, I had to take Morgan to school and pick her up. My work schedule was always challenging but I always found a way. With that being said, I met numerous children over the years because just like stray animals, Morgan would always find a child that needed a ride to or from school. She would say, "Mommy, can you pick up so and so, it's too far for them to walk" or "their mommy can't do it". It was always a challenge, but I got to meet so many wonderful kids over the years. When Morgan went off to college, she continued on the path of helping others. She earned her Batchelor Degree in psychology. Once she graduated, she began working with children with autism. She loved working with the children. On the day of her passing, June 15,2020, she had been working with a child that morning via Zoom. She spent her last day here on earth helping a child. Morgan was a beautiful, loving person who left this world too soon at the age of 23. She will always be loved and never forgotten by the many who love her.
Wendy and Seth
Seth loved everything about football including playing it in high school, watching it on TV and live, cheering loudly for the Ravens, and playing it at our annual family friendly game on Thanksgiving Day. Most of all I believe he loved the social part of being on a team because it brought folks together and he loved connecting with people. In high school he complained about how hard the workouts were and his coaches weren't fair, yet he was proud to have the opportunity to play especially when his family attended and cheered for him.
Family was important to Seth, and he loved his two sisters, parents, cousins, aunt/uncles and four grandparents. His sisters looked up to him as the eldest kid in the family, literally since he was tall, and they wanted to be on his team for our annual game. Seth used his sense of humor, loud belly laugh, and bear hugs to bring us together at gatherings. This picture was taken after our Thanksgiving Day game.
Nick and Kevin
The hot, muggy summer day started out normal at the lake. Kevin and I were down for a few days, enjoying the fishing, pool and just relaxing. Being a typical summer day, thunderstorms were predicted. But we didn't know their intensity until they arrived. Kevin left me and went back to his property before the clouds gathered. The storms and winds hit with a vengeance and a tree went down on my property, blocking the road. With the rain pouring down, Kevin made his way on his old golf cart (nicknamed "The Green Bastard" by him) and got as close to my place as he could, then walked the rest of the way to make sure I was safe. Friends knew I was at the lake began calling my cell phone to see if I was okay and asked if I could check on their properties. As they called me, I relayed their info the Kevin. Even though he was drenched, he drove his golf cart to check properties and look in on other friends of his to be sure they weathered the storm safely or see if they needed help. Kevin would describe his old golf cart, comparing it to himself: "It's beat up, breaks down, but when I need it, it's there". That was my son! With all his struggles, Kevin was loving, caring and deep down always concerned for and willing to help others, Miss you so much buddy!
Charlene and Dustin
Dustin always loved Christmas. The last time that he went into rehab was just before Christmas. Before he went into residential treatment, he gave me a list of gifts for his family members and asked me to buy them with his last paycheck. Dustin was selfless like that...he went to rehab with no money so that everyone could receive a Christmas gift. Dustin loved his family very much, and if love could have kept him alive, he would still be here today.
Tina and Brandon
On October 16th, 019 I found my oldest son dead in his bed due to a mix of Xanax, oxycodone & fentanyl. He was 21. A football injury required surgery, which led him to struggling with an addiction to opioids. There is such a stigma with overdose and we suffer right along with our children. I have been asked to share a story that would humanize Brandon to those who may not be sympathetic to the devastating loss we have suffered. Choosing one story was difficult.
When Brandn was 9 years old, he was asked to write about what he wo0uld do if he was president. This is what he wrote, "If I were president, I would give all my friends and family lots of money. I would have all the skateboards I wanted and give money to the poor. There would not be any poor people. I would try to end the war that is going on right now and not let any other wars come".
Brandon was a kind & caring child who grew into a kind and caring young man. He loved his family and friends and was always and willing to help in any way he could. Drugs robbed us of Brandon just as they have robbed all the other families represented in this exhibit. As you read all the other stories you will see that many of these beautiful souls are similar to your own loved ones. Please take these stories & photos to heart and help end the stigma. I also ask that you educate yourselves about the dangers of prescription opioids and the REAL danger of fentanyl.
Drugs do not discriminate!
Debbie and Justin
It was the holiday season, and I was going with a friend to visit children in a children's hospital. Justin was about 7 years old, and he wanted to come with me, but the day of he had a cold so he was unable to go. Weeks later, at Christmas, Justin wrote a letter to Santa Claus. He first asked after Mrs. Claus, then he inquired about Santa's weight. He made his requests, and then he wrote a separate letter asking Santa to remember the children who were in the hospital. He also wrote a letter with concern about Santa remembering people in nursing homes.
He was sweet like that.
Sam, Terry and Hayley
Hayley was in & out of our lives for many years during her periods of active addiction. During the last year plus of her life, Hayley came back home to live with us while working on both her mental health issues and receiving support for her addiction. We were happy to have her home where we were able to help her the best that we could. But best of all, Hayley was able to work on becoming a member of a loving & supportive family again. Hayley was able to connect with her daughter, Sophia, in a meaningful way while also learning how to again live life in a family structure. Hayley did her best to help around the house. One of her favorite things to do was to cook dinner from time to time. She didn't have extensive experience in cooking, but boy did she try! One evening Hayley decided to cook a whole chicken for us. When the bird was done, she asked me to help her carve the chicken. She saw me standing in front of the bird laughing and asked me what was so funny. It turns out Hayley had cooked the chicken upside down! Thus was born the recipe of Hayley's upside-down chicken. Hayley would pass away not long after the memory of the upside-down chicken was made. When I cook, it's hard for me to not put a chicken in a pan upside down in her honor and memory. Her upside-down chicken was probably the finest tasting chicken ever prepared.
Katie and Matthew
Matthew grew up with an older sister, Sarah. Together they played house, office and school with their beanie babies, Sarah's Barbies, and Matt's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurines. When they got a new Beanie Baby, they always had a ceremony introducing the new one into the group. It was very cute and endearing.
Matthew was the creative one while Sarah orchestrated the operation. Matt's creative side was evident early on and in school he enjoyed writing stories and drawing doodles to go with the story. In 6th grade (2001) his English teacher submitted a poem that Matthew wrote for an assignment to the International Library of Poetry. Matt's poem Fathers was published in the 2002 edition of their book.
Before you read the poem here is some background: Matt loved his family and looked up to his dad as a role model. They loved to camp, hike and attend sporting events together. They shared a love of music, witty stories, the Ravens and Matt even got his dad to attend a WWE wrestling match once. Matt once told his dad,
'If only I could be half the man, you are I'd be ok.'
Cari and Stephen
I remember a time when I had invited Steven to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. He was so excited because I had taken someone else the year before, and he had been disappointed he didn't get to go. We went and we had the best time.
This was one of the last times I saw him not high.
The heroin really took him over. I miss the old him, the sober young man.
Susan and Kevin - forever 28
Kevin was a giving, caring, kind person who was always willing to help. After Kevin passed away, I was contacted by someone I did not know, but who said that he was a friend of Kevin's. It turned out that one day Kevin was on the road and someone was pulled over on the side with a flat tire. Kevin pulled over and helped the gentleman change the tire. The man was very grateful and offered Kevin money, which Kevin did not take. But seeing that this man had health issues, Kevin eventually started helping him around his house with small projects that the man could not do himself. I never knew this man or how Kevin had helped him over a period of many months. Kevin kept it quiet as he did not like attention for things that just came naturally to him. Thoughtfulness and kindness came naturally to Kevin. He is so very missed.
Diane and Jenny
One year I was purging our home, and I inadvertently gave away a Little Golden Book called My Christmas Treasure. I used to read that book to my children every year on Christmas Eve. The stories in this beloved book were one of our Christmas traditions...along with hanging stockings and leaving cookies & carrots for Santa and the reindeer. Jenny saw how upset I was when I looked for the book during the week before Christmas. Without saying a word to me about her project, she started her own treasure hunt. She searched the internet for almost a year, and the following Christmas I opened a slender package, and there was the book she had searched for and finally located. What comes to mind is how much Jenny valued her family and our traditions during the holidays, her deep love for me, and how tenacious and persistent she could be.
Karen and CarrieAnn
It was the fall, and CarrieAnn was about 17 years old. She was staying in upstate NY. She was missing her younger sisters terribly. There is a significant age difference between them. She asked if I could bring them up there for a visit. She called me the day before to make sure I was coming and to ask me to make some of her favorite foods to bring to her and I said, of course. To my surprise, when we got there she had spent most of the day prior to us coming up and the morning of raking all the leaves on the property into huge piles... she wanted to be able to run and jump into the piles with her sisters. The look on all of their faces that day is a memory etched in my mind and every time I think about it, I smile thinking about the love between them.
Tammy and Christina Marie
It was September of 2019 and Christina's Mom-mom had been slowly degrading before our eyes for a few years from Alzheimer's. It had progressed to the point where she could no longer eat or drink on her own. She had a DNR in place. She was having trouble breathing as the muscles in her throat were being affected. We knew her time was close. All of her familly was coming in to see her. Christina didn't have a car at the time, and I asked her if she wanted to see her. She said yes...she was using at the time but she was remarkably close with her Mom-mom, who had always been there for her over the years. Christina came with me. Her 3 brothers didn't come, but Christina did and it meant so much to me, and to Mom-mom. She had her alone-time with her, and she got to talk with her and pray with her. She sang songs to her and read to her. Christina loved to sing so this was incredibly special indeed! My heart was very full seeing this. Mom-mom died only a few days later.
Christina had so much compassion and love in her heart for her family. She had a soft spot for elderly people in general as well.
Roxanne, Don and Donnie
Donnie was the oldest of our 3 boys and he always valued time as a family. When Donnie was 11 and his brothers were 9 & 5, I took the boys on the Metro to the 'Reunion on the Mall.' Their dad was working and couldn't go. Donnie was concerned about keeping his brothers in sight, which wasn't a problem until we stepped out of the Metro onto the National Mall. An estimated one million people were there! Donnie grabbed his brothers and looked at me and said, 'Mom, what were you thinking?!' He spent the day keeping tabs on his brothers and made sure no one wandered away. It was always important to Donnie to try to take care of his brothers and that we were all together for special occasions.
Kelly Ann and Conor
Conor was extremely sensitive and a deep thinker, even at a young age. His two younger siblings, Sean and Sheila, have autism. He was their hero and he always embraced their differences/abilities. When he was in 2nd grade, he told his teacher that he had to save all his money because when his parents died, he needed to take care of his brother and sister. He was always the protector; now he is their angel.
Jackie and Lexi
Lexi loved music. She had a beautiful voice and was a talented songwriter. At age 15, she was able to belt out the National Anthem at an event in Oysterbay, and she hit every single note. Lexi had plans for a good life. Here are lyrics from her song The Good Life....
Everyone wants to be successful. Working for dreams and hopes every day. And I'm not being too judgmental.
People view accomplishments in different ways. Like I want a life with love and joy... An you may want a big old fancy home, And she will one day want a big big boy, And he might want a car with fancy chrome. If you want it, you've got to get it... The good life... I want it, I'm gonna get it, The good life...the good life.
Lorie and Patrick
Patrick was a living, Kindhearted person. He was also very mischievous and had a fun sense of humor. He loved being a big brother, along with that he gave big brother advice as to when he liked something his sisters were wearing. After Patrick passed, his older sister bought a huge pair of earrings in Texas. We were sitting and talking about those earrings, and she said, "I know Patrick would not like these!". She had taken the earrings off and laid them on the arm of the couch as we were talking. She went to get up and they were gone. We looked everywhere for those earrings. We honestly had no idea of where they went. Months passed and I got up one morning and walked into the living room and the first thing I saw was one of the earrings lying on the floor. Chills ran through my body, and I said, "Patrick di you hide these from you sister? If this was you then bring us the other Earring". A couple of weeks went by, and I got up early one morning and walked into the living room and I was in awe... there was the second earring lying on the TV stand, in the same position as the other one. I cried and thanked my sweet son for letting me know he is still with us and still has a sense of humor. Even though he is not here in his physical form, he lets us know that he is still with us. I love you Patrick, I forever carry you heart in mine.
Jennifer and Michael
All my love <3
Sally and Alex
One of Alex's passions was acting. He loved to dress up in costumes and perform. When he was around 16, we went to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire and Alex dressed up in full Captain Jack Sparrow regalia. He stayed "in character" throughout our visit and one little boy wanted his autograph, which made is all crack up. Then he was on stage with some of the official "wenches", where he proceeded to join in the show, singing and dancing along as if he were a part of the Fare talent. He was such an enterainer.
Sharon and Sean
I am such a fortunate mom to have had Sean as my son for 25 days short of 40 years. Even as a young boy Sean demonstrated love and concern for his peers. He attended an elementary school that had students with educationally divergent needs. So many teachers commented on (I still have his report cards!) how helpful Sean was... whether he was pushing a wheelchair or assisting teachers in whatever way he could with his classmates. As parents, we don't always know what our children are doing as they grow older. As Sean grew to high school, college age and as a man, I learned in retrospective way what a helpful comrade he was with peers and adults. In the days after Sean's tumultuous passing, messages on his Facebook page and those directed to me were so helpful and warm andfill of how his tribe loved him. Here are just a few:
"It takes most a full lifetime to make such a positive impact on so many and yet you only needed 39 years."
"Such Great friend for years. And then to watch/observe the growth to become a dad! First foster dad, then adoptive dad and then to just daddy."
"You have always been the most genuine, fun-loving, caring, hilarious, unique and supportive guy."
What has impressed and helped me the most are the comments shared with me from his male friends. The common thread is that Sean was heir only male friend who was able to talk with and share on a deep level. Those comments rock my heart" Even recently a colleague commented on Sean's Facebook page how he "could use a Sean View real nice talk".
Seanie, thank you for being such a bright light of love and hope for those of us who knew you well and those who didn't. I miss you so, so much...